The tale of Hermione in raplimerick form
by RogueCajun
Summary: A poem-esque doodad about Hermione the know-it-all. Even if you do not like Hermione the know-it-all, you will like this poem-y thing. It comes complete with random rhyming words & incoherent sentences. What more could you ask for?


Title: The tale of Hermione the know-it-all in rap-limerick form

By: RogueCajun & Bootstraps

(Actually, Bootstraps didn't help this time, I did it all by myself, I'm a big-kid now!)

(The Crazy minds that brought you the Quidditch song, the tale of Scabbers the rat in rap-limerick form and that will bring you the tale of the Marauders and what happens when you try to get revenge on your arch nemesis, did I mention that it too has some Aerosmith in it?)

Chapter: One/One

Chapter Title: Hermione the know-it-all

Genre: Humor

Summary: From the Crazy minds that brought you the Quidditch song, the rap-limerick about Scabbers and Dude looks like a lady comes a poem-esque doodad about Hermione the know-it-all. Even if you do not like Hermione the know-it-all, you will like this poem-y thing. It comes complete with random rhyming words, incoherent sentences, but Aerosmith this time. What more could you ask for?

This is _not_, I repeat _not _to be taken seriously, we wrote this one day when we were bored.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, if I owned Harry Potter then Sirius would not have died and the books would be about him, not Harry. But alas, I do not own Harry Potter.

Rating: Pg-13-ish

Random Quote: "Love is like oxygen, love is a many splendored thing, love lifts us up where we belong, all you need is love." -Ewan McGregor

* * *

There once was a lass named Hermione 

Who had odd teeth that were always clean and shiny.

Blimey! It's really hard to rhyme anything with Hermione.

She was a know-it-all

And very proud to be

Muggle-born a mudblood

But did I mention that

She's smarter than you and me?

She went to Hogwarts

Having read all the books

And she had not quite

Scorching good looks

Her two bestest friends

Were Harry and Ron

And by the end

Of their very first year

Together they had faced

A troll, a three headed pup, and

Harry's worst fear—

Lord Voldemort

Doodly doodly doo

Nothing rhymes with Voldemort

Second year

They had a new fear

That was really quite old and moldy

Hey, did you know that moldy sort of sounds like Volde, as is Voldemort?

The heir of Slytherin

Was loosed on the school

And Draco Malfoy found it to be cool

To tease the muggle-born students

That they would be the next to die

Axl Rose says that 'When you're high you never

Ever wanna come down'

And I am deathly afraid of clowns

Hermione was petrified

And though the fiend who did it tried to hide

Hermione's genius had done it again,

Solved the problem

And come up with the solution

In the end

Harry found him

Fought off the Basilisk

With the help of an from the ashes risen Phoenix

Named Fawkes and a spiffy new sword from Godric Gryffindor

Harry and Fawkes slayed the basilisk

Defeated Tom Marvolo Riddle

Which spells 'I am Lord Voldemort' if you rearrange all the letters.

As always, Harry saved the day

The crazy egocentric Lockhart went away

My school was out on the 27th of May

And so ends the second year.

In her third year

Amid the mass fear

Of the crazed murderer

Who was after Harry Potter

The fugitive was an ex-marauder

Draco thought—er,

Maybe not

Malfoy decided to be cruel

And laugh at the fact that he well knew

Hagrid's new pet,

His precious Hippogriff Buckbeak

Was bound for execution

But Hermione it seemed

Was the one who was mean

When she whacked

The prat in the face

Giggle, giggle, ha, ha!

The bouncing ferret deserved it!

So, you've listened to my tale

My poem-esque doodad thing

About the lass named Hermione

Blimey! It's still hard to rhyme anything with Hermione!

So I bid you a fond farewell

You never know where you'll see me next

Nor do you know whose tale

In rap-limerick form

I will tell

Perhaps Draco Malfoy the prat

Or Ronald Weasley the boy who had the rat

Did I mention before that my friend Elizabeth dated a guy named Matt?

Perhaps is you are lucky

Eat all your vegetables and wish real hard

I might just write about Harry, the pansy

Er, I mean the boy who lived.

Or maybe one about Sneaky Severus Snape the greasy git of a potions professor

You would like that, wouldn't you?

Maybe I'll write about those mischief-makers, the Marauders

Ginny is Mrs. Weasley's only daughter

And now I've realized this mess has gone on too long

It must be stopped

I really want a pop

My stomach just growled

So I will leave you now

And go get something to eat

Ciao!


End file.
